The trials and tribulations of John Tracy
by Cherry B
Summary: John's pondering on his life as well as others. Caught between transatlantic women and his brothers. What's the price for freedom?
1. Coming home

AN – I'm not too knowledged up on Thunderbirds and still confused by some differences of the movie for example the ages of the brothers. In the movie John is second oldest but I'm sure in the series he was the middle brother? So on that note, things maybe jumbled. I've gone by the movie mostly and as I have no clue about their individual personalities, there made up and go by what I thought the brothers were like in the film. I've also added Josephine too. It leaves me to say I own nothing, I'm just borrowing! Enjoy!

* * *

A tingle in his feet was the only thing that reminded John Tracy that he had arrived home to Tracy Island. His boots often felt tight with the differences in air pressure whether he was alone in his solitude in Thunderbird five or docking to Thunderbird three and smelling the unfamiliar smell of speed and heat.  
  
John carefully unbuckled his safety belt and lifted the barrier that protected his slim frame. He stood up, slowly, each vertebra, loosening the cartilage that had been squashed together in the not so comfy chair he was sitting in. His blood felt weak in his feet as pins and needles resumed again in his non active toes.  
  
"You okay Johnny?"  
  
John looked over to his younger brother, his hair styled in a fashion statement of trendy spikes and bleach blonde highlights.  
  
"Yeah, I'm cool." John replied in a low but soft voice. His eyes wandered to the doors opening around them and the engines shutting off.  
  
John wiggled his toes in attempt to stop the annoying pins and needles.  
  
"Home sweet home." Virgil replied with a light smile and then a heavy sigh as he climbed out.  
  
John watched his brother who now was taller than him because of his hair and wondered whether to take the comment with sarcasm. It wasn't that life for the Tracy family was bliss because it just wasn't. There had been the arguments and the fights. All the time John watched in silence as possibly his elder brother Scott would end up arguing with the younger Tracy siblings. Maybe Virgil had been on the receiving end of one of his father's lectures, his mood hadn't been that spectacular throughout the journey home.  
  
John wiggled his feet again and walked out of Thunderbird three where there was no sign of Virgil.  
  
John took a look back to the open door of the ship and wondered if he might as well go straight back to the place that he started to call home. This was a thought that always struck him, but recently, he had questioned his dreams of space. Thunderbird five may have been peaceful but it was lonely. It may have been well suited to his nature, he did love the stars after all, but his books had been published and his eyes tired the lack of action and life in the beyond. Travelling into space was something; being shut away in space was another.  
  
John swiftly stepped back to the ship and grabbed his bags before all too quickly closing the door to Thunderbird three and dashing out of the gloomy docking area the ship slept in when it wasn't needed.

* * *

"Son great to see you where's John?" The demanding voice of Jeff Tracy spoke with little emotion as he carried on with a small amount of paper work that sat at his desk, dressed in a relaxing, Hawaiian shirt, flip flops and combat trousers.  
  
"He's just coming up I think." Virgil replied removing his gloves and nodding politely to his grandma who had been looking out of a large window anticipating the return of her white blonde grandson.  
  
"Virgil darling, be a dear and walk me downstairs." Josephine asked her grandson.

* * *

John walked the steely corridors that lead up to the Tracy home. Walking down these corridors never got him excited that he was home because they looked too much like something from Thunderbird five; no in fact they looked better.  
  
John watched a light glow from some sort of control panel. He hadn't realised he was staling himself until a door slid open in high-tec advancement.  
  
"H- hello John, you okay?" Brains asked, noticing the distant look John wore on his face.  
  
John turned to the stuttering voice of Brains and gave a lopsided smile. "I'm fine. I guess it just been a while, you know."  
  
Brains looked over to the younger man and nodded in an understanding.  
  
"Err, y-your g-grandma has prepared some f-food. Its f-for t-tonight, you k- know, a l-little p-pa - par, get together."  
  
"That's good." John replied giving a small smile in his direction. "Take care of yourself Brains and its good to see you." With that, John planted a firmer grip on the straps of his bags and walked away as Brains disappeared.  
  
The walk up to a main entrance wasn't that long and soon John found himself in a lift taking him upstairs.  
  
The light that greeted him was something literally off another planet. No lights were needed to be able to just walk and a brilliant blue meet his vision as if challenging the colour of his own eyes, which at the moment had opened up to an azure blue after a couple of squints.  
  
John had brought up a hand to his eyes while his other had a firm hold on his bags.  
  
The newly, calming, creamy walls were like heaven to look at, as he noticed a few 'old' school photos of the Tracy boys that he hadn't seen in years, let alone months. John walked to the first that met his gaze. Randomly it was Gordon and Alan embracing in a not so friendly hug for the camera. John shook his head lightly in amusement at the smaller form of Alan trying to squeeze Gordon in a 'death hug' with no success, probably from a younger birthday, John suspected.  
  
The next was one of Scott beaming his handsome smile while his cheeks were blushing as he held his date's hand for their junior prom. John had to admit they looked a cute couple and although Scott one night confided he was in love to John, John couldn't recall the name of the pretty girl and in reality, wondered whether Scott could too.  
  
John looked at the next with no success as the light was reflecting off the glass. John reached to the window frame, finally dropping his bags and lowering the blinds a little.  
  
"Well fancy seeing you here, just landed I take it?"  
  
John turned in the other direction of the cool, feminine voice and in reality a breath of fresh air from muffled communications of distress messages and the all too male voices of his family.  
  
"Lady Penelope." John greeted her with a small smile, studying the light pink blouse and three quarter length trousers, a matching piece of course. Her hair was in a clean pony tail and a beautiful expensive pair of earrings glimmered when caught in the sunlight.  
  
In reality a complete contrast to himself who wore a creased space suite and who seriously needed a nice long bath.  
  
"What? Is that all I get?" She asked with a mock pout and amusement, crossing her arms lightly and leaning onto the wall of pictures.  
  
"Well what would you like?" John grinned, but still politely, the first one since landing.  
  
"That depends, what to you have to offer?" Penelope replied moving closer. "I've missed you John."  
  
"Really?" John asked with a smirked and a raised eye brow. "As much as you miss the others?"  
  
"Well I see them once in a while, but I never ever see you. You always tuck yourself away on that dreadful space thingy." Penelope laughed mildly to herself at the comment but noticed John didn't join her.  
  
"It's not my choice. It's my job."  
  
"John, we all have choice, but we never have to be shackled down to things."  
  
"Tell that to my father Pen. Maybe I wouldn't be shackled if Alan did his duty instead of pissing off with Tin Tin and..." John took a sigh after his rant that had started getting louder. It was the first time he realised he was getting angry out loud, usually it was in his head.  
  
Penelope moved forward and 'shhed' John quietly and calmingly. He didn't even notice her arm on his own.  
  
"They're in love..." She spoke bemused "...or maybe lust..." She quickly corrected herself. "... but the point is..." Penelope was cut off by John.  
  
"No Penelope, that boy has to understand that the world doesn't revolve around two people."  
  
"Doesn't it?" She replied. It was a question directed at him alone.  
  
John stopped talking and saw the look she was giving him. Her eyes were at a stage before they would glaze with what he thought could be tears, but they didn't.  
  
After no answer from John, who instead looked out of the blind, spreading his fingers through the folds to look out to the burning sun making way for the warm night. Penelope spoke again.  
  
"Who does the world revolve around then John?"  
  
John kept starring outside while he spoke. "International rescue and you know that." His voice wasn't harsh but Penelope sighed sadly as if he'd told her off.  
  
"I meant it when I said I missed you." Penelope spoke adjusting the three buttons on her blouse and then taking her designer sunglasses from her head.  
  
"I know." John spoke, this time turning to her, making a move to collect his bags.  
  
Penelope stood and watched, expecting him to speak, but not another word uttered from his smooth lips.  
  
"Sometimes I just don't understand you John Glenn Tracy." Penelope spoke as she walked passed him in the direction of what John assumed was to the rest of his family. Her attire had been that of a lazy afternoon by the pool and from looking through the blinds, he was confirmed by the stress-free pool party that was outside, hosted by Gordon and Virgil. 


	2. Behind blue eyes

AN – I don't own anything. Thoughts are in italic.

* * *

Chapter two - Behind blue eyes  


* * *

It always seemed odd for John when he walked in his space uniform to his bedroom, it just didn't feel right. The polished floorboards here and there creaked under his weight, a fair difference from an underweight ten year old that used to run and slide over them as Scott would be running after him to kick his ass.  
  
A small grin escaped his lips from the memory.  
  
John opened the door to his bedroom, dropping his bags outside. Pulling up his right leg he quickly discarded his boot and sock, changing to hop onto the bare foot to remove his other boot and sock.  
  
The feeling of carpet under his skin felt like heaven and he closed his eyes. The fibre soothed his feet as no soft sock or cool floor could. This was luxury, no metal and no cold flooring. John reached over to retrieve his bag and closed the door with a soft click. He turned fully and looked around the room. Things had changed. For a moment he thought he was imaging it but on closer examination it seemed true.  
  
John walked over to one of the light wooden bedside tables by the double bed. Why was there a picture of Tin Tin in his room? John frowned. He turned his head and looked at the same furniture that had always been in his room but now had the mark of someone else all over it. John walked to a chair that sat by a light pine wooden desk. The chair was strewn with grubby and creased clothes. To start the pile; a type of skate boarding shirt with dark flames and a pair of dirty underpants with the phrase 'sex god' written on. John cringed and looked to the desk where his little trinkets had been removed. A CD collection was scattered out ranging from a Limp Bizket album to Christina Aguilera to some band John didn't have a clue about. His beloved computer that had seen him through editions of Encarta now had its screen filled with posits.  
  
_Alan. Not only does the little shit skive from his duties on Thunderbird five, the little bastard has nicked my room!  
_  
John could feel his blood starting to boil and instinctively he clenched his jaw, eyeing all of Alan's positions that were suffocating his clean, if a little boring, room.  
  
Leaving his bags, John walked bare foot to find someone to give him some answers. The floor winced as he strode with a purpose, his brow frowned and his eyes intense.  
  
The calming walls now were useless to project peace within John as he made his way to his father's office.  
  
John walked in to find it vacant. After waiting a second to see if he may hear his fathers bold voice, he marched to the control panel and made a call.

* * *

Alan winced as he saw the light flash and the call coming through. The television screen blinked to life with the face of his brother John who didn't look too pleased.  
  
The first thing that Alan could think to be a plan was to dive to the floor, out of sight.  
  
"I know you're there Alan you idiot I just saw you Christ sake!" The tone of his brother didn't sound too happy in Alan's opinion.  
  
_Maybe I can wait this one out or maybe there can be an emergency so I can send him away!_ A cheeky grin appeared on his tanned features, his eyes darting around in anticipation through a mop of messy blonde hair.  
  
After thirty seconds on the floor, Rambo style, Alan crept up on his knees to the monitor screen, emitting a tiny scream when he saw his brother still there, arms folded.  
  
"Alan you've got three seconds before-" John was cut off as Alan sat in his chair and faced his brother.  
  
"Or what? You gonna kick my ass? Because I'm a long way away you know!" Alan sniggered after his words, half because of what he said and half to see the look John had on his face, one of pure fury. "Anyway gotta take a slash and I don't want to talk to you if I'm honest John but I do hope you'll enjoy your new room, courtesy of yours truly. Oh, have a nice day now!" Alan had to laugh as John narrowed his eyes and spoke the first letter of a very bad word. Alan quickly cut the link to the video call and took a deep breath. Suddenly Thunderbird five seemed like a nice place to maybe spend the rest of his life, that was of course only if Tin Tin could join him. A dreamy smile of pride sprang onto his features at the very thought of her before he lost the smile, thinking how far he was from her. _I hate thunderbird five!_

* * *

John stroked a hand across the top of his head and down to his neck before grabbing the white waves at the nape of his neck. That little brother of his infuriated the hell out of him and at this moment of time, he couldn't do anything about it. If he told his father, he would just tell him to grow up. John wasn't much of a stand down as people thought he was or at least what he thought he was which was very different. His father never believed John could take anything. Sure there had been times when he was younger that he had been bullied, made fun of because he was all brain and not brawn at the time. John had since learnt that being clever wasn't enough to keep you safe. He recounted the times when people would be cruel to him because of how neatly he'd like to dress or the way they expected money from him because his father had heaps to burn. If his father had known about it he would have called him a pussy and John didn't need his father to call him on top of what he already did. He would have rather come home with bruises to prove to his father he wasn't like a whimpish girl, to prove he could rough and tumble, even though he'd get told off for having them. It was a price to pay to be labelled a 'trouble maker' at school, to lose the faith of some teachers who thought him to be a timid angel. They never knew it was because of his father that he took less of an interest in studies just to try and fit it, to try and be cool. None of his other brothers had problems in school, they were jocks, they were popular and were admired for one reason or another. The decision in lacking studies had back fired though and Jeff Tracy was un-amused with his son's grades causing spring break to be grounded to his bedroom. That one spring break never left his mind and so he went back to studying in his room, back to John Tracy - the swot. A small sigh escaped his lips and he removed the hand that held his hair in a comforting grip to run it over his mouth and jaw, deciding he should get round to having a shave soon.  
  
Leaving the office, John walked back to his now confirmed old room and picked up his things and walked to Alan's smaller room where he presumed he'd be sleeping.  
  
The room smelt of a typical boys room even though Alan probably hadn't slept in the room for over maybe four months. John now decided that maybe Tin Tin had something to do with the changing of rooms. It really wasn't a place to bring a girl back to a single bed covered with a race car duvet.  
  
John dumped his stuff and opened the small ugly wardrobe that was covered in old stickers from bubble gum, Christmas crackers and merchandise labels.  
  
There wasn't much in it, but a small amount of his clothes were hanging.  
  
Someone must have felt guilty.  
  
John took one of his bags and lifted it to the bed unzipping it. He lifted out a bag that had some of his toiletries in. An aftershave, tooth brush, tooth paste, a facial wash, body wash, moisturiser. Why on earth he took an aftershave up to space was beyond him, who was he trying to impress? A couple more things were emptied out onto the bed, brush, floss, condoms. John mentally slapped himself. _If only_. The thought of the things lead John to think about his own private belongings hidden in his domain, including the adjoining bathroom he once had. He rolled his eyes as all hope of finding stuff was probably now up in Thunderbird five.  
  
John let a frustrated moan out his throat before taking an inspection of the room to hopefully find some clean underwear. He grabbed his things and made his way to one of the family's bathrooms.  
  
Twenty two minutes later a fresher John Tracy emerged with damp hair wearing a fitted washed green colour T-shirt and blue Levis, nothing special, just comfortable clothes. His sock less feet were enclosed in his favourite deck shoes; a dark tan colour which always caused a look from his brothers that had said 'sad' or 'your dressing too old'. It was true when your father had a dozen expensive pairs to his name.  
  
The atmosphere of the tropical outdoor surroundings made John smile. The sun was not blazing but bright as it was coming to its end of the day. The sky a beautiful shade of blue, orange and pink.  
  
Only Gordon and Virgil were in the pool, seeing who could drown each other and Tin Tin, if you counted her legs hanging over into the warm water. Her face looked grim as if Alan was never coming home. John caught her gaze and she quickly took to looking intently at the sapphire water of the pool, a nervous rash creeping up her chest. He knew she blamed him for Alan's parting, which in a way, was true.  
  
"There he is." The proud voice of Josephine Tracy rang with satisfaction as she locked her gaze with her most mysterious grandson.  
  
Everyone turned to see him and John actually felt a little fazed by the attention after having only one person at a time see him by the video links.  
  
Josephine's bones creaked and her muscles refused to cooperate as she slowly walked to John. To help, he moved quickly over to greet her, embracing her in a friendly hug. She kissed him on the cheek as he bent down for her.  
  
"I think you've grown." She muttered with pride for a Tracy boy.  
  
"No I don't think so Grandma." John replied unsure why he felt slightly embarrassed by the comment.  
  
"Yo, bro!" Gordon yelled before Virgil used his weight to push Gordon under the water with a cheesy smile in John's direction.  
  
"So that's why you wanted to get home so quick. You wanted to kill Gordon."  
  
A few small laughs and smiles emitted from the family and friends who were watching and listening.  
  
John smiled at the pair and felt a reason to be glad to be back home.  
  
"Son." Jeff Tracy called, a light smile on his old but handsome features.  
  
"Dad." John replied with a quick smile.  
  
Putting down a pair of tongs, Jeff embraced his son lightly, patting him on the back with force.  
  
John grinned sheepishly through it.  
  
"Master Tracy." Parker nodded and saluted with his whisky in melted ice. His grey trade mark suit replaced by a Hawaiian shirt that could have been in competition with his father's shirt.  
  
"Parker." John smiled, nodding back.  
  
In turn, John greeted everyone with a hand shake or a smile.  
  
Tin Tin was contented with giving an extremely brief smile to him and John made himself politely smile back.  
  
"John c'mon man, you're gonna miss the fun!" Virgil yelled as Gordon got the upper hand on drowning his brother.  
  
Scott then walked onto the scene with Penelope, wearing an open shirt and long shorts. John noticed he'd obviously been working out a lot over the past couple of months because his physique looked even stronger than it had already been. A case of cold beer was in his hand and Penelope was holding a tray with some nibbles on. John watched as Scott cracked a beer open while Penelope shared a small word with Jeff. Scott handed the beer to his father before opening one for himself and clinked the bottle with Jeff's. The smile that passed between them was something John had never seen pass to him. His father's smile oozed with pride and love for his eldest. The most handsome, the tallest, the strongest, the most dashing, charming, the list was long. John didn't realise his tongue had clicked loud enough for the nearest person to hear. Parker took a sip of his whiskey and took up conversation with Fermat.  
  
Scott took another sip of the cold beer and noticed John in his jeans and T- shirt.  
  
"Hey bro-" Scott started to say before he noticed John's shoes. "Awh man didn't someone throw those things out while you away?" It was a joke and John knew this but his temper was raised slightly.  
  
"How you been anyway?" Scott asked politely before asking another question not letting his younger brother answer. "You wanna beer?"  
  
"Erm, Yeah sure, why not."  
  
"You should've seen Alan before he had to change with you. Man that boy can have a tantrum..."  
  
John listened to Scott and was bemused. He now spoke completely like their father. Everything was spoken in fact and bluntly, but very flowing.  
  
"He'll be back soon somehow though."  
  
John blinked from his thought. "What?"  
  
"Well you know Dad said before he went that he'd think about bringing him back sooner, felt sorry for the little squirt. Said it was too much for him at such a young age." Scott took another sip of beer as if he'd been making the decisions, not his father.  
  
John felt the tension in his jaw, unable to say anything.  
  
"But we all know you like it up there so no problems right?" Scott added with a pat on his smaller brothers back. "Oh do you want that beer?"  
  
"No. I'll get my own drink thanks." John replied with a fake smile.  
  
Scott walked off and joined his father who had a welcoming smile for him.  
  
Tin Tin was now dragged into the pool in her T-shirt and shorts to a cheer from Virgil and Gordon who had decided they needed new pray.  
  
"Now boys." Jeff called with amusement.  
  
John walked up some steps to the open sliding door that led into the lounge. A large mahogany drinks cabinet was one of the centre pieces of the chic room. John opened the cabinet remembering the time his father caught him indulging in a secret drink; the cap open and his lips soaked in vodka at the age of sixteen. His father had come into the room while John was moving an extremely treasured whiskey, which later he found out his own mother had bought for his dad. The shock of seeing his dad made John knock over the treasured liquor causing it to smash and soak the expensive cream carpet. John closed his eyes in reminisce from the force of the blow that had been given to him by his father. He never knew which reason upset his dad more. Smashing the whiskey or being caught drinking, he had a clue it may have been the first.  
  
John reached in staying clear of the whiskey, instead opting for a fine cognac, making it a little larger than intended.  
  
"Hey."  
  
John jumped and a few droplets of brandy splashed onto the cabinet's surface. As if about to be told off he quickly mopped it up.  
  
"Oh." John moaned taking the end of his t shirt, exposing his stomach. Before quickly dropping it as he recognised the voice. "Penelope." He spoke it recognition making sure every last drop was wiped up.  
  
"Care to get a lady a drink?"  
  
John looked over to her as she sipped the last of her cocktail passed her lips. He gazed as she stretched her neck delicately and took the remains of the drink in on fine gulp. Her throat moved elegantly as the muscles swallowed. John watched, his lips parted. A flash of a heated moment came to mind.  
  
She knew he was watching. That was the idea. Penelope turned and smiled at him, her lips together as she then parted her pink mouth and rolled her small tongue over her top lip then the bottom.  
  
John couldn't fathom how she could make anything so erotic like that.  
  
"Well?" She mused holding her glass up in one hand, the other on her hip.  
  
"What do you want?" John asked in one tone.  
  
"You make it sound like a chore." Penelope replied walking over to him and placing the glass on the open cabinet.  
  
They stood close looking at each other for a couple of seconds before Parker coughed in his throat.  
  
"M-lady, Mr Tracy says the burgers are ready as well as a choice of kebabs, steaks and fish." 


	3. The spark that lights the flame

AN- I own nothing.

Huge thank you to MJC who kindly helped me out with this chapter. If anyone knows their stuff, it's that lady! Cheers!

Just reminding that it's movie-verse.

* * *

Chapter three – The spark that light's the flame.

Penelope let a light sigh escape her lips. She blinked slowly mustering a smile as she turned her cheek over her shoulder.

"Thank you Parker."

"You're welcome m'lady." Parker replied and walked away.

"Hungry?" John asked lightly, trying to make idle conversation.

"No."

"Sounds familiar." John replied eyeing his brandy in the bowl glass, swirling it in a hypnotising motion.

"John?" Penelope asked.

Before she could say another word, Scott poked his head round the corner of the sliding doors, walking into the chic room, eyeing the couple.

"Guys." He called striding to them.

Penelope swallowed, eyeing John's blue gaze before looking down quickly, a sort of, compose, in herself.

John left Penelope's gaze and took his drink to his lips downing it in one go.

Scott came up behind Penelope, towering over her with his handsome grin.

"Thought you'd run away."

John watched as Scott wrapped his strong arms around the slim waist of Penelope. He placed a small kiss of her rosy pink cheek, oblivious to John's stare.

Penelope smiled awkwardly, a little annoyed, a little embarrassed.

"Let's get some food then." Scott smiled at both of them, unaware to the uncomfortable body language in the room.

"Why not." Penelope spoke, her cheery cover coming into play.

Scott smiled proudly.

"Joining us bro? Grandma's made some hell of a feast." Scott asked slipping his hand into Penelope's.

Penelope looked down to their clamped hands and swallowed again, catching Scott giving her a brief smile. She smiled in return.

"Well I guess I'll have to come unless I want my ass kicked by her." John replied on one level but Scott laughed as if it was the funniest thing he'd heard all day.

"Glad you're back bro." Scott added grasping John's shoulder in affection.

Penelope and Scott made their way out into the evening sun.

John watched them go filled with different emotions and feelings.

He knew they were an item, he'd know for a while, in fact he had to admit it, on the outside they were a good couple.

A few months together and still at an early stage of a relationship, but not to the eyes of Jeff Tracy. It was he who had initiated the whole thing. Penelope and Scott after all were good friends and Jeff trusted Penelope. He knew she wasn't a gold digger by the fact she had her own extremely large savings and the fact she worked for international rescue. All the brothers were good friends with Penelope, she was kind, friendly, very sexy, why wouldn't you want to like her?

But with Scott being the eldest, Jeff had played matchmaker to his best. With the help of Josephine, the pair were soon swooning over a candle lit dinner in the heart of Rome on a not so blind date, money was no question and it had carried on like that with dates in the most exotic and luxurious location, curtsey of Jeff Tracy.

Parker wasn't amused at the whole charade but smiled in the light of what he thought would be some happiness, grinning and bearing it. It had almost made him cry when Penny let her pompous cover down for a minute to smile like a thirteen year old girl in the arms of Scott. It had then made him resent working for her.

John presumed his father had wanted Scott and Penelope to become a permanent couple and knew that wedding bells were going to be in the air if his father had anything to do with it.

Scott wasn't that old as if time was running out for him, but family played a big role in the Tracy family, yet fate, no Jeff, forced them be lonely; no outside contacts, no close friends except each other and no girlfriends. The secrecy of the Thunderbirds depended on it. Thus Penelope was chosen to be with Scott if she desired and the whole of Tracy Island and its organisation.

Jeff had beamed brightly the day Scott officially said they were a couple and had beamed just as strong when he realised his youngest held deep feelings for Tin Tin.

What Scott failed to realise was that happiness counted within someone and although it had been a very deep happiness between them, Penelope, now completely bound to the Tracy family, was growing tired of the closeness. The choice that she thought was right had only recently started to be thought of as wrong. Her English title held nothing for her now as the parties and invitations were long gone.

John walked out onto the stone steps that led to the mini party.

The sun looked spectacular as it hit the sea and sent a cloudy warm pink and orange around it a big difference to black and stars.

Virgil had a towel wrapped around his waist; his firm stomach exposed and was currently running a smaller one over his highlighted locks.

John watched as Virgil's hand was attempting to style the locks as Gordon's lips uttered a few words as he sniggered. Jeff gave his second youngest a look and turned back to the barbeque. Virgil was the one now who had a smirk on his handsome face.

"Ah son, want something?" Jeff called noticing John.

"Erm?"

Josephine looked at John and gave him a forcing glance.

"Yeah, please." John said quickly looking away from his Grandma's harsh stare.

John sat at the large wooden table on the patio, taking a seat beside Fermat and Gordon.

"So how are things up in Thunderbird five John?" Scott asked sipping his beer, his arm draped over Penelope's shoulder.

"Oh you know, the usual, but everything's good. Everything is working accordingly..."

Brains smiled at John.

"...and if I'm honest there's less work now with fewer calls coming through."

The table didn't know if John was happy or sad with the comment.

Penelope who sat opposite John, watched him in a distant stare.

"Oh please let's not talk about International rescue; I'm, trying to just relax." Virgil preached in a mock annoyance.

"You know son, your right, let's just enjoy our time while we can, everyone."

John knew if he'd spoken those words, his father probably would have told him off and only for the fact they probably would have sounded foreign from his own tongue to talk ill his work, their life.

* * *

The afternoon had quickly turned into the night and after an array of drinks, some fine wine and more beers, the party had all sat into the navy sky, hanging around with stories and jokes until the sky had the stars twinkling as brightly as they could.

Just as Josephine had announced her departure into the lounge for a night cap, Jeff had decided they all retire to the chic lounge area.

"I'll help you get those." Penelope called to Kryano who declined immediately.

She watched as Tin Tin helped her father and the other's made their way inside.

"Coming?" Scott asked as he held behind, noticing her on the spot.

"Oh, err, no not yet, I'm just going to have a smoke, I'll be in, in a moment." She smiled lightly.

"Wish you wouldn't smoke Pen." Scott replied.

Penelope placed a delicate hand on his smooth cheek and smiled slightly, loving the feeling of his high cheek bone. "I'll be in, in a moment." She smiled frankly.

Scott smiled in an understanding and placed a light kiss on her cheek. He turned and walked inside.

Penelope walked to a sun lounger near the pool. The garden had now been lit and gave the outside area a warmer glow, even though the garden was still warm.

She took a cigarette out of her bag and the holder. After a moment's ponder, she rolled her eyes and pushed the holder back into her bag opting for a quicker smoke. She lit the cigarette and took a long drag, exhaling the smoke into the air and holding the cigarette away from herself, sighing as she looked around the tropical outdoor area.

"Mind if I join you?"

Penelope turned her head quickly, her pony tail swinging side to side.

John didn't wait for an answer and sat on the nearest sun lounger, facing her. He placed his glass of wine down and looked up to the stars.

"Should you be out here?" Penelope asked, taking a drag after her sentence.

"It's not against the law is it?" John replied

Penelope watched his gaze and looked up to the sky. "Please don't tell me you miss it." She said exasperatingly.

"No."

They sat for a couple of seconds in silence. There was a mumble of laughter from inside the lounge and a few night time insects were singing their music.

John took a sip of his wine and sighed heavily.

"They kicked me out of my bedroom." John said making conversation again.

"Yes I heard about that." Came Penelope's short reply.

John sighed. "Pen, please don't blank me..."

"What do you expect John. You come home, I try to make conversation and you blank me! Expect to get the same as you give."

"I was confused."

"Confused!? You've been on thunderbird five for how long now? And you didn't have time to think? Well I'm sorry John Tracy, here let me give you more time to think on things!" Penelope rose from her chair dropping her cigarette and stumping it out harshly.

"What!?" John accused.

"If there's anyone confused it's me!" Penelope replied pointing a finger at her chest firmly.

John frowned not understanding what she meant.

"What you think this is easy for me? Oh no, no, no. Coming home and there you are with Scott all over you!!" John asked severely.

"Oh John you knew what was going on. What happened between us happened before Scott, long before."

"Not so long before." John replied annoyed.

"Yeah? Well long enough."

"Just stop flaunting what you've now got, in my face."

"Well stop accusing me of going behind your back!"

"I just think it's odd, okay?"

"John!" Penelope spoke before bursting into tears.

"Penelope, shhh." John called, noticing how loud her sobs were getting.

Penelope stormed off.

"Wait." John called.

"Not for you."

John quickly caught her and took her arm. Penelope looked down and shrugged his hand away.

"We're both part of this so don't be putting the blame on me. Things now need to be cleared. I'm back, we can talk now." John said softly.

Penelope looked into his sincere blue eyes and sniffed feeling her eyes burn at their shouting session. Her tense frame collapsed into more tears. John quickly ushered her from the patio and moved off in another direction.

"Penelope?"

Both John and Penelope quickly looked up the open glass door of the lounge like a deer in headlights to Scott.

Scott frowned noticing John's arm around Penelope's back.

"John?" Scott added as he was joined in the door way by his dad and the eager faces of his brothers who had obviously heard raised voices.

John looked at the faces of his brothers before he noticed they all turned around to a voice inside the lounge. Virgil and Gordon huffed inside and Jeff took a quick glance to his blonde son, a frown plastered on his forehead.

Scott had now made his way to them. The knight in shinning armour.

"Pen?" Scott asked with concern before eyeing his smaller brother.

"It's alright honestly." Penelope replied sniffing her tears way, wiping her cheeks.

"Are you sure?" Scott asked looking at her tearful form and then to John who looked straight back at him.

"I'm okay. Let me freshen up." Penelope spoke. "Walk with me Scott." Penelope added as she noticed the glare between the brothers.

John watched them walk off. His blood was boiling and a vein was pulsing right on his temple. He pursed his lips tight before kicking a defenceless plant into the garden, its terracotta pot smashing into flowers and bushes. John ran a hand over his face and through his hair before making his way up to the patio steps.

"John?" Josephine asked in the doorway.

"Not now Grandma." John replied walking past her.

"You'll speak when you're spoken to John." Came Jeff Tracy's stern voice.

"I said not now!" John replied walking to the door to try and escape.

Everyone in the room watched the dramatics. Both Gordon and Virgil watched in amazement at John's attitude. Tin Tin had started to grin.

"Boy, you walk out that door...." Jeff added his jaw tense.

"Jeff." Josephine said quietly.

"Or what? You're gonna spank me? Ground me? Get real dad, I'm not a boy anymore."

Everyone in the room watched in surprise and dread.

"Well you sure are acting like one." Jeff replied his lips barely moving as he spat out his words coolly as to not shout.

"Ooh, tough words from a tough man."

"Dad... John's...we're all a little dru..."

"Virgil am I talking to you?" Jeff spoke but was still staring at John.

"No sir." Virgil replied, casting his gaze down.

"I think we need to have a chat. My office, now." Jeff spoke to John.

Everyone watched as Jeff walked out the room, a walk that told you he wasn't to be messed with.

"I think we all should retire." Josephine spoke with purpose, feeling a sadness that the night had ended with arguing. By God she was pleased Alan wasn't around.

Brains smiled uncomfortably guiding his son away as did Kyrano with Tin Tin.

"Boys?" Josephine called to her grandsons.

"Err, yeah." Gordon spoke not taking his eyes off the hot head form of his older brother.

"What the hell was that about John?" Scott asked angrily barging into the room.

"Oh here we go, it's always John's fault. Come on then, have a go, I've only been back a couple of hours."

"Don't take the piss John!"

"Scott!" Josephine called at the swear word.

"Sorry, _dad_." John replied.

Both Gordon and Virgil looked at one another trying not to let their excitement be seen by the on coming argument.

Scott glared in a severe way.

"Now, now, Boys. John, I think your father wants you, be on your way."

John looked at Josephine and noticed she didn't look amused. He sighed to himself. His grandma look upset and he hated it, especially if it was his fault. John shook his head before leaving the door, resisting the urge to slam it.

* * *

"Boy, you better have a pretty damn good explanation for your behaviour out there tonight." Jeff Tracy who had been sitting in his office chair looked at his son in a scrutinising way.

John didn't say anything, just folded his arms. He was actually starting to feel nervous now that he was in his father's office. He looked around and saw the large portraits of himself and his brothers, all looking as if they were mocking him.

"Well?"

John was starting to feel afraid. Here he was, a grown man, capable of growing a beard, starting a family and buying alcohol, standing before his father as if he was a child again.

"I..." John replied quietly.

"It's not good enough John!" Jeff cut in with a shout. "Now I want to know why Penelope was crying. What did you say to her?"

"I said nothing." John replied harshly not realising how defensive he'd got.

Jeff eyed his son over. In Jeff's opinion he looked paler. His bags under his eyes seemed darker and his usual personality of the kind, sweet natured, polite boy was nowhere to be seen. Jeff frowned. He'd been like this the last few time he'd been home and his suspicions were now becoming real possibilities. Before he knew it, his concerns left his lips.

"Are you on drugs?"

"What!? No!" John replied defensively.

"Son are you sure, because if you're lying to me..."

John took a deep breath through his already flared nostrils. An anger riveted through his blood like no other. It was typical for Jeff Tracy to say something like that to the son he thought was lesser than all the others.

"Dad for fuck's sake, stop it! Stop treating me like a fucking child. I'm not on drugs!"

Jeff looked on at his son, his eyes suddenly turned dark and John could have sworn that a glint of red had suddenly surfaced.

"Don't you ever curse at me again, you hear?" Jeff shouted in a military tone. After a moment Jeff frowned at the sound of his son's sniggering.

"I thought you were concerned about Penny. And then you go off on to drugs? I think your loosing your marbles old man."

Jeff's eyes flared and he grabbed his son by his T- shirt, hauling him into his desk so his back collided with the edge.

"What's the matter with you?" Jeff snarled.

"What's the matter with me? I'll tell you. I'm sick of being made to be a nobody! You always forget about me, all of you! You stick me in thunderbird five without giving me a chance to even protest..."

"You like Thunderbird five..."

"I did, but then I was put up there at what could be a couple of months at a time! Do you even know what it feels like to be isolated like that Dad? To know your family are enjoying each others company, laughing and joking, being the first to know everything and you not even in on the picture! You let Alan off with everything, his duties for example and then you put then on my shoulders! I'm sick of it! You even gave him my God Damn room without consulting me!"

Jeff had cooled his tone slightly. "There were circumstances." Jeff replied letting go off his son's T-shirt.

"What circumstances?" John asked exasperated. "Please father, enlighten me why the kid is so special? Huh?"

"You watch your mouth John Tracy. I won't have you being sarcastic to me." Jeff threatened. "It's hard for your brother. He's the youngest and he's been through so much. I completely condole Tin Tin and your brother and now we just have to give them time and space. I think It's a bonus that we have Tin Tin, a girl, on the Island, don't you? It doesn't cause International Rescue worry about security and secrecy and such. Your brothers grown up now, we can't expect him to be in his box room anymore." There was a light hearted tone at the end of the sentence in Jeff's voice.

"You know what? Stuff my room and the kid and while your there, let's just ignore me, yeah? Forget about me even because from what I see, my family doesn't give a shit about me!"

John walked away from the desk and passed his father before turning his face around to speak.

"I suppose Scott will be moving into your room next or forgive me...has he already done that?"

"Jeff put a hand to his temple making his way to the drinks cabinet and pouring himself a large scotch while he was speaking. "I've had enough of this boy, just get out! Stop wasting my time! If you were half the man your brother was..." Jeff stated before he trailed off, taking a sip of his drink and obviously finishing his sentence in his head.

John watched, his fathers back was turned to him still. That's right, it was all about perfect Scott again, the golden boy, the boy who could do no wrong. The boy who would most likely be getting the world if his father had anything to do with it.

John averted his eyes to the mocking portrait of himself, smiling falsely. It was like the portrait as reflecting how he felt. Yes there was a smile on his features when there needed to be, but a steady sadness was built in to those blue eyes, something that his father had never bothered to see.

John sighed. His father had just knocked him down, again.

There was a silence in the room but John still wanted answers.

"So, Alan's coming back real soon. That means I'm going back sooner doesn't it?" John's voice was calmer, something that made his father engage in conversation once more, due to a more 'reasonable', more 'adult' form of talking.

By now Jeff had turned to his son and was listening to his words, avoiding eye contact.

He stayed quiet.

"Doesn't it?" John spoke with more force demanding an answer.

"Yes it would mean that!" Jeff replied with just as much drive.

A noise in the corner of the room signalled that John and Jeff weren't the only ones in the office.

Scott was near the door and behind him the heads of Virgil and Gordon, who looked like they were using Scott as a shield.

By the looks on their faces, they'd been there a while.

"I..." Jeff started to try and say something but sighed.

"Maybe we should sleep on this." Came Scott's voice, a little timid than usual as he walked into the room.

"Yeah, good idea son."

"How's that a good idea?" John asked in exasperation, using his hands for emphasis.

Virgil winced as he'd hoped Scott's sentence would have settled the matter, not provoke it.

"John calm down." Gordon spoke.

John heard the pleading in his voice.

Seeing his brother's anxious look, John forced himself to take a deep breath before walking past his brothers and out the door.


	4. Things you don't want to hear

Chapter four – Things you don't want to hear.

The first thing John did after his father's encounter, was to shut himself away in his 'new' bedroom. It may have been an anti climatic thing to do, but with the amount of adrenaline running through his body after the argument and being himself, he knew it was the sensible thing to do. The small, childish room held no comfort, just mockery. The room seemed to ridicule him in everything good that Alan had for himself; a girl, sex, his father's love and affection, a happier childhood, the gift of youth and a bit more sex.

John pulled the thin sheet over his head, frowning deeply and screwing up his eyes in anger at his current life, let alone his situation. The duvet had long since been in a crumpled pile, on the rather dirty looking carpet.

Everyone had gone to bed the moment they all understood the argument was over with John's walking out.

Scott had sat with his father, sharing a drink with his best friend and idol.

Jeff had smiled thankfully at his eldest, knowing he could share his thoughts with his best, the son that had made Lucy's tears turn into diamond drops at the sight of him.

Only Virgil had visited Alan's old room, coming close to the old wooden door and lifting his knuckles to tap the wood, before a muffled voice told him to go away. Virgil sighed not waiting to upset John in any other way. The whole explosion of this different side to John worried him and it worried him because John had a terrible habit of bottling up everything and no one had ever seen John let off steam in any such way. Virgil shook his head and a worried look appeared on his features.

John turned over in Alan's bed for what seemed like the hundredth time. The small room seemed like it held little air. John sat up, feeling his mind to be restless and his eyes wide awake.

He stood up and wrapped his green, cotton, tartan dressing gown over his slim body and pale skin. Alan's very vain full length mirror caught his eye, as he was about to close the ties. Even though it was dark, John caught sight of the ghostly figure that lay before him. A, very pale, very thin and very dejected person. Space was not a good route in life unless you were doing exciting things. How disappointed had he been coming straight from NASA and shoved into being a communicator and translator for International rescue. Only using his flying skills to get to TB5 and home again. Only translating distress calls to his father when he should have been out there, face to face, with those who he could reassure and explain. Then he had just learnt to get on with it. The action type character that he'd hoped he be, vanished and he doubted himself that he could never be as brave as his brothers were, the real rescuers, the real Thunderbirds.

A few steps and he came to the window in Alan's room, his dressing gown closed tight against him. The room may have been small and cramped, but no one could knock the view. Pulling a curtain back, John caught a glimpse of the cool moon, shimmering on the oceans waves like little diamonds, in a hypnotic motion. For a moment, John thought he's found some peace, but looking back into the room, he felt the small space close him up. He wanted his own liberty, he wanted to not be reminded of tonight.

The corridor was dark to a degree with its blinds fully closed, but the creamy walls held a dim brightness in the modern corridor. John's feet started walking on their own accord as he stuffed his fists into the large pockets on either side of him. His walk took him passed Scott's typically large room with adjourning bathroom and sauna.

John rolled his eyes but then a small smirk lit his red lips as a past thought entered his mind.

A scene of steam, pine and the two of them. The sweat on each others bodies, the thousands of kisses they had given each other, the way she tasted like sweet nectar to him, the way she'd groaned his name like he was the most important thing in her world.

John's heart rate double at the thought and wave of jealousy hit him at the thought of his brother's arms around Penelope, but then he frowned. If anyone had happened to see his face, they would have seen the painful expression he wore. He wanted to bang on the door, but that was childish, it was something Alan would do. It was something Alan had done to him all the time when he had had the chance. John struggled to control the tightness that entered his jaw and breathed out deeply, exiting passed Scott's room quickly.

His feet carried him further down the corridor. A cold glass of water in neutral territory was in mind.

Finally reaching the corridor leading to the kitchen, John stopped in his tracks at the small glow that was radiating underneath the door. The door itself wasn't shut properly and John could hear small footsteps casually walking on the tiled floor. Initially John's fine blonde eyebrow rose, but then both brows came together in a frown as he caught the vocals of the visitor.

"Alan you're such a tease and a pervert for that matter!" Tin Tin giggled in her feminine tune. A blush crept on her perfect skin, her eyes sparkling with mischief.

"Hey, by the looks of your smile, I'd say you'd want to be involved in my little idea, oh beautiful girlfriend of mine."

"I'm not too sure this should be on the kitchen screen, people could see."

"I've only programmed it in so I'm being broadcasted to the family kitchen not the whole house or the world Tin. Besides, the communicators are too damn small, I wouldn't be able to see if you're wearing any knickers at all?"

"Alan-." Tin Tin laughed. "I'd have to lift up my nightie for you to see...." She finished with a giggle.

"Woohoo, is that an offer for a strip tease. Let's play a game. I'll take a piece of clothing off if you do."

"You know I'm only wearing my nightie, it would be completely unfair."

"All the more reason to play it my foxy, little, minx..."

Tin Tin laughed and smiled again as she looked at the small, TV communicator that sat on one of the kitchen walls and saw Alan wink cheekily at her.

"You're an idiot Alan Tracy, but I'm waiting for you to come back to me..."

"And I'll cum and cum again for you Tin Tin." He replied wickedly.

Tin Tin sighed sadly. "I hate you being away Alan, I really do. What kind of kicks does your father get by sending you away, I mean, you're so young, we both are. We shouldn't even be working for your father. We should be on the main land, heading for the big cities."

"Yeah well, as much as I don't think about my dear brother John, my father does and what my father says, goes. I have to relieve him, even though I think we should just let the sad bastard rot up there with his precious stars. I hated him when I was young! He was so fucking mean. I wonder whether the mother I never knew, knew that her white blonde son, who doesn't even look like a frigging Tracy may I add, was born with a stick up his ass or something!"

Tin Tin smirked to herself. "He got all up tight and personal this afternoon with Scott and your father. Something about Penelope crying, it was all a bit odd actually."

"Anything to do with John, is odd Tin Tin."

"No but, oh, I don't know. John really took offence. I don't think I've ever seen him really angry, apart from maybe with you.

Alan smiled triumphantly.

"The argument went upstairs to your father's office-"

Alan wiped off his smile and listened intently.

"- Apparently they were really shouting at each other. Then he stormed out of the room."

"Well John's little tantrums are like little girly hissy fits, it was probably nothing spectacular, the man hasn't any balls you know. Now me, well-"

"I don't care about your Oscar winning tantrums Alan,

"Well actually I was talking about...."

Tin Tin cut him off "I just care about you coming home."

"Yeah, well, it won't be long now. Dad talked to me before while John was travelling back."

"And?" Tin Tin asked excitedly, her smile creeping up on the corners of her lips.

"Dad says I'm to come home next week. I told dad I don't like it up in space. Said I rather go into the air force, you know like Scott did. He said he was gonna sort some kinda plans out for further education and all. I hate it how Scott gets to always go to the main land for dad for the business all the time. It should be someone with dashing good looks, like me!"

"But isn't that because he's a bit more grown up than you and has people and social skills?"

"No, it's because Scott kisses dad's ass. Anyway, I have the best manners and social skills out the whole lot of us."

Tin Tin coughed and gave him a look.

"Err, apart from you my darling."

"So you promise you'll be home soon?"

"Sure, I have dad wrapped round my finger. And before you know it, your legs will be wrapped around my hips and I'll shag you so hard, that Brains will want to know why you'll have problems walking."

"You're a dirty boy Alan-" Tin Tin purred before she looked at Alan's stunned face and spun round to the person who had just walked into the kitchen.

Tin Tin looked in horror at John who she realised had probably heard the last few sentences or more and froze with embarrassment, her face and body turning a bright red.

Alan had panicked a second when he saw the familiar face of his most favourite brother and had frowned as Tin Tin froze unable to look at either John or himself.

John walked up to the screen and Alan saw the fuming, ghost like form of John, a malicious smile on his lips.

"You think your so smart Alan, you think the whole fucking world should bow down before you and go on your command. Well let me tell you that things don't happen like that, okay. Sometimes life is a bitch and right now yours is about to become the biggest. I really hope you enjoy your extend time up in Thunderbird Five –."

Alan's face suddenly contorted in a look of puzzlement.

John turned to Tin Tin with a smirk on his lips. "How'd you like that Tin Tin? Might not get laid for a while, what a shame."

"What the fuck are you talking about dic face?" Alan spoke, his voice getting angry.

"I'm saying, _dic face_, that my position as astronaut for International Rescue is over, I quit. Unless dad has a kind heart and relives you once in a while up in space, you'll being seeing an awful lot of the stars dear brother; I hope you don't get too bored."

"Wait a minute, John. You have a duty to your father, to everything he's done for you!" Tin Tin finally spoke up firmly.

John looked over to Tin Tin and spoke with venom. "Don't you dare talk to me like you're my mother-"

If John had been watching, he would have seen the sore look on Alan's face about their mother. One, because of the jealousy Alan had had over the way John spoke about Lucy and the fact that he'd never been able to love her like John had.

He had once been told by Josie to not talk about their mother in front of John, for reasons unexplained. He knew it was a sore topic for all the family, especially for their dad. Christ, he could never look into his father's eyes on the anniversary of Lucy's death, as he was sure his father's sadness could've killed him. As much as Jeff Tracy told his son that he was not the blame of his mother's death, there was that part of Alan that had never believed his father's words and of course there was always John to remind him that he was to blame.

Why? Why was John always blaming him? Why did John think he was so special and that their mother's death hurt him the most? Alan had always put it down to some kind of attention seeking.

Blinking away his troubled thoughts, Alan looked over to Tin Tin and wasn't too sure if she really knew how much John had been affected by Lucy's death, but right now he didn't have the heart to stop her rant, just so he could get a dig at John on behalf of Tin Tin.

"You don't have the balls to quit John. Being an astronaut is your life. You wouldn't give it up so easily."

"At the moment Alan, I have nothing in my life. I wish people would realize this!"

John and Alan's voice had grown loud again.

"You fucking dick head you can't quit!"

"Oh what's wrong? Are we panicking now? Thinking we'll be stuck in space like John always is?"

"You can't, you-" Alan half growled, half sighed and for once had nothing to say.

"You heartless bastard. How can you do this!?" Tin Tin cried, tears forming up in her eyes at the belief of not being able to see her lover anytime soon.

"You're bluffing."

All eyes turned to the new voice that entered the conversation.

"You wouldn't leave John, would you?"

John didn't know what to say to Penelope. He was fuming from Tin Tin calling him a bastard, but suddenly soothed when he heard that beautiful, crisp voice. His idea was to spite Alan, not hurt himself.

Her face was filled with worry as she clutched her silk robe around her neck.

Suddenly, a part of John wished he'd never spoken.

"I think it would be wise for you to go to bed Tin Tin, don't you?" Penelope spoke.

Tin Tin looked up to Penelope and then to Alan.

"It's not a request Tin Tin. I'm telling you, you should go to bed." Penelope's voice was little bit sterner.

"Don't talk to Tin Tin like that Penelope!" Alan spoke aggressively.

"Listen here Alan Tracy." Penelope spoke, pointing her finger to the screen. "You never talk to me with a raised voice again do you here me. You respect your elders."

"Your not even part of the bloody family yet! I'll talk to you how I want to talk to you!"

"THAT'S IT!!!" John roared walking out the kitchen door and passed Josie who was entering.

Everyone watched John storm off.

Penelope took after him.

"What in on earth is going on down here!?" Josie Tracy came into the kitchen, hands on hips. "I can't get a wink of sleep because I can hear you all making too much noise! It's 2.30 in the morning!"

None of the younger generations had anything to say apart from Alan.

"Penelope and John are pissing me off!"

"Alan, watch you language young man!"

"John, wait, wait!"

John came to a halt in the corridor, a fair distance from the kitchen.

"John?" Penelope asked quietly, coming closer to him.

John looked at her miserably but didn't say anything.

"I'm sorry for the way I acted tonight."

"I've forgotten about." John replied. It was a lie, but it seemed like a good thing to say.

"What you said to Alan? Is it true? Are you leaving?"

This was the hard question. John himself didn't know if it was a joke he'd produced to get back at the little shit, but deep down, John wanted to spread his wings and leave. The problem was it was exactly the thing that his father or brothers knew he wouldn't do. He was the sensible one, he was the one who would always stay and fight the cause, no matter if he'd only just come to terms that he'd always had the short straw all along. He was the one who was quiet, the one who just did as he was told. The one who never got what he wanted, not at his birthdays, not at school and not even his dreams.

"I'm leaving."

Penelope looked saddened. "For good?"

"I don't know?" John mumbled quietly. "Nothing that I do is ever good enough for anyone. I don't know what I'm doing hanging around? I'm not even good enough for my father Penny."

"John that's not true!"

"Is it not? I'm not even good enough for you, that's what my father seems to think and by the looks of it you..."

Penelope was shocked. Her mouth was frozen in an 'o' position and tears were filling up in her eyes. It was true. Jeff had never favoured John for anything and when it had come to down to suitors, Jeff had controlled everything, even her own feelings, her own heart. He'd made her believed she loved Scott. She wasn't going to say it was all lies, because she did love Scott, she learnt to love him. Of course John and Penny had their little secret, but there hadn't been enough time to let Jeff Tracy know, before his owns plans had come into everything.

Then it had been a very abrupt expedition for John to get back up to Thunderbird Five. What had Jeff said? Something to do with immediate mechanics and programming? Hadn't Brains thought it was unnecessary and Alan had thought it was hilarious? Didn't Josie shake her sadden face and leave the conversation, overlooking her son with confusion? Then John had just stood there nodding and not saying anything at all. Then it had seemed like an awfully long time John was away, a time when Jeff had insisted, Thunderbird Five was to be checked, piece by piece for precise working order and no mal functioning by John and John alone. Come to think of it, it may have been months.

Penelope had no words. Her speech had just left her. She wrapped her arms around John's neck and silently cried into him. Something that shocked her was to feel how fragile John was. He had always been a slim person but this was ridiculous. He was now easily the smallest frame of brother. After a moment, she tilted her tear stained face to him, leaning forwards and opening her lips to his. John leant back and unravelled her arms from his neck. Penelope looked on in confusion and sadness.

"You're making things difficult." John spoke softly.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry for everything. Your father wouldn't have sent you away if I hadn't been around....and with you."

"He knew."

"You knew?"

"I figured I was being sent away because he knew about us."

"And you didn't do anything, rebel against the idea?"

"What could I do? I can't win against my father. At first I did believe there was work to be done, then father always cut the conversation short when I asked if I was coming home soon."

"Oh John, why? God."

"It doesn't matter any more."

John looked down to the kitchen and saw the light was still radiating underneath the kitchen door.

_Maybe Alan's had a few words from Grandma? _

Penelope looked the same way and saw Josie looking on at them, her fragile frame showing no signs of anything.

"Stay safe Pen."

"What?" Penelope mumbled as she noticed John had already started moving back down to the kitchen.

Josie looked at her middle grandchild and sighed sadly.

"Is this how it's meant to be John? Please tell me I'm not losing you?"

"You'll never lose me Grandma, but, I've got to get out of here."

Josie let a tear escape her eye and held out her hands to John. John took them and squeezed them lightly before bending down and kissing her cheek. He felt bad feeling the old hands in his, knowing that his Grandmother was not getting any younger and time and her family were starting to seem like a precious gift that she was gradually losing.

"I'll miss you. Don't wake Dad, let him sleep" He spoke before taking another corridor and leaving the scene.


	5. The first step

Disclaimer – I don't own anything.

Chapter Five – The First step

London was cold, very cold. It had been an extremely long night and an even longer morning. The new day had dawned many hours ago and John was only collapsing on the king sized bed in his suite. The soft gold and cream duvet and goose feather pillows, a welcoming retreat.

The first place John had thought to go to was New York, home of his father's main office. Now that John thought about it, it would have probably been a stupid place to 'hide' as this would be the first place his family would try to find him, if they wanted to find him that was. London was next on the agenda, a less familiar place but a welcoming one.

It had taken a while to be granted landing space with one of the smaller Jets his father owned, until the airport had grown tired of believing it to be a hoax due to the very unfamiliar voice of the least known Tracy son. Once the staff actually caught a glimpse of the white blond man and related the unfamiliar voice with his unique look, they swallowed cautiously, wondering if they were to receive a call from the main Tracy man himself. Suddenly airs and graces were flown in John's direction and a bed at one of the finest hotels in the centre of London was awaiting the middle son within ten minutes. All new to John, he didn't even realise that small air crafts had tried pulling this type of stunt and apparently everywhere, claiming that they were part of Tracy enterprises, an important business, very friendly with some very important people in not only New York but the world. This was only one good thing John could think about, carrying the surname that he possessed. It allowed him first class service, where ever, when ever. Suddenly John was carted off in a black cab, a very small smile on the corners of his lips.

Jeff Tracy awoke to a noise of whispering. He fluttered his eyes open, taking the liberty to stretch a little, running a hand over the stubble on his chin. When he opened his eyes fully the whispering had vanished and a slight movement had occurred by his open bedroom door.

In a second Jeff heard his mother's voice ushering maybe two of his sons away.

A knock came from the door and Josie didn't wait to be greeted with an answer.

"Mother? What's this?" Jeff asked jokingly, snuggling back into the warm bed and closing his eyes after his blissful night sleep. "Have you brought me breakfast in bed?" He smirked.

When Josie didn't answer but went to close the door and walk back, Jeff opened his eyes in question, to look at his mother.

When Josie's face didn't burst into a grin or a mocking look, Jeff looked at her, worried. "What?" He asked simply.

"He asked me not to wake you, let me get that straight first." She pointed.

Jeff looked on at his old mother. Something was wrong. Her face wasn't cheery and she breathed deeper, a sign that what she was about to say was something that he didn't want to hear.

"Is it Alan? Is he alright? Are the boys seeing to him?" Jeff asked with a hint of panic coming over him. _That boy asks for trouble sometimes…_

Josie sighed. "No. It's not him. It's John."

Jeff frowned and lifted an eyebrow, his face some what relaxing a little from thinking that it wasn't the son who permanently tried to give him heart failure.

"He's gone." Josie said sadly.

"What?" Jeff frowned again, running a hand over his eyebrows.

"He's taken off Jeff and I don't think he's returning."

Jeff laughed and Josie's face went stern. "What the hell are you laughing for!?" She boomed.

Jeff froze but then a smirk appeared on his mature handsome features. "This is a set up right? He put you up to this to get at me…right?"

"Do I look like this is funny? Does it look like a joke to you!?" They were the words, spoken by the mother the boys had never really had. The type of words Lucy had never had the chance to speak with, with the subjects of her sons.

Josie was getting angrier each minute and Jeff watched his mother fume, something that told him she wasn't to be messed with.

"He's gone?" Jeff asked ridiculed.

"Grandma?" A steady voice came from Virgil as he stood in the door way of his father's bedroom, not wanting to really enter the domain of his father.

Both Josie and Jeff looked to him.

"There's no sign of him on the island." He stated matter of factly.

Josie put a fragile hand to her temple. She'd known he wouldn't be on the island hiding away like a sulking child. Secretly she wanted John to be hiding and to be bluffing everyone, but it looked slim. Sending Virgil out was a last option, just in case, just in hope.

Virgil backed out the door way and lent against the corridor wall, a small smile of relief and pride to the brother who was only seen cowardly. He hoped John was okay and knew that if anyone wanted to know where he was, the tracker on the jet would be a first clue. For now, he knew the whole family had to deal with his father, something he was not so sure about. Virgil opened his eyes to the stomping sound of his eldest brother coming up the corridor and bursting into the room.

"A knock would be polite." Josie spoke loudly to her eldest grandson, but her presence was ignored straight away.

"Father, have you heard that he's gone!?" Scott found himself not looking at any one in particular as he paced the large floor area of his father's bedroom, hands on hips. "It's a joke, honestly! That brother of mine is not a man he's a boy and he's almost as bloody childish as Alan for Christ Sake! What the hell is he trying to prove!?"

Before Josie opened her mouth in fury to the young man's language, Jeff held up a hand to silence Scott.

A telephone call woke John up gradually. Moaning as he heaved himself off his front to reach the marbled telephone, he yawned before talking into the receiver.

"Yeah?" He asked sleepily too tired for polite greetings. His curtains left open as pitch black streamed in.

"Sorry to disturb you Mr Tracy, we have an extension call waiting for you. It's important."

John sat up properly wiping his eyes and briefly looking at his crumpled shirt he had slept in.

"Can I ask who it is?"

"Err, it's a private number sir."

"Oh." John mumbled knowing who the telephone call was probably going to be. "Fine put me through." He yawned.

Two seconds was all it took to gain a bead of sweat to sit on his hairline, a wave of nerves settling in his middle. John swallowed nervously.

"John-"

It was all that John heard before placing the receiver down instantly and steadying himself on the bed, a palm on either side of him gripping the edge of the bed.

_Shit_

John ran a hand over his face and took a deep breath. So his father knew where he was, well, it wasn't exactly hard to track him down. Find the jet, know the city and a list of selected hotels, hotels that welcomed the Tracy family and their money with open arms.

John doubted his ability to stay away from his father, knowing that the longer he stayed away, the dire the consequences would be. Now Thunderbird five had no real pilot, now Alan and his dad would have to share duties, now things would be disrupted.

John now fully awake stood up and wiped his forehead.

_Stop being a pussy_

John sighed and let a strangled moan from his throat.

_What have I done?_

Looking back at the telephone, John sat back down on the edge of the bed and switched on the bed side lamp, its gold marble dancing as the light caught it.

John picked up the phone and dialled reception.

"Good Evening Mr Tracy, how can I be of service?" A polite voice asked.

"Erm err, could I get a drink sent up to my room? Err scotch or something?"

"Of course, it'll be there in a moment. Thank you."

"Thanks." John mumbled smiling briefly for no one to see.

_Why are you smiling you idiot, it's not friggin Penny down there. Just some English woman, with an English accent…that sounds like……not her…_

John went to stand at one of the windows, looking into the quiet street, the lamps beaming brightly as the odd car drove past.

_What next? What are you going to do you fool?_

"Nothing." John spoke aloud, a mixture of frustration and sadness.

A small tap came from the door. John headed over and opened the pale door.

"Hello. Your scotch sir."

John smiled at the pretty young girl, moving to let her in. Her short black bob moved as she did. He watched her move to a table in his suite, laying down the silver tray, with no noise and setting the crystal glass carefully, the ice cubes hitting off one another, producing a melodic sound.

Not that she was really bent over and not that she was wearing a short skirt, John let his eyes wander over the brief leg that was showing, from the slim ankles to the knee. It was a sight he'd been deprived off and thus the form of a woman's body was one John didn't take for granted if he could see it. His eyes wandered over her rounded backside and he blinked slowly, the smallest feeling of heat flooding his stomach and a slight blush creep into his cheeks.

The girl smiled to him as she stood up and turned to him. "Will that be all sir?" Her voice was crisp but not a sharp as Penelope's.

"Please, it's John."

"Will that be all…John?"

It wasn't the way she said it, or maybe it was? A hundred things flooded John's mind and his mouth had a line of things he wanted to say.

_Yeah, how about you stay tonight? Do you fancy a drink? Let's play a little game of you being my maid._

No, that would be what one of his brothers would have said, Virgil or Gordon perhaps, possibly Scott after a drinkJohn frowned as his favourite brother's face came into his mind saying the words he'd just thought of. And yes it would _have_ to spoken by the smooth talker of the family, Alan.

John cursed in his head, yet found a small smile creep onto his lips at the thought of his brother having to be in space and to do the long and lonely duty of Thunderbird five. That's when John wiped the smile from his face and was overcome with the start of some kind of guilt. He quickly shook his thoughts away.

"Err no. that's all right." He replied, walking to his drink and taking a sip, feeling the smooth liquid coat his dry throat.

"Good night, John." She smiled.

He didn't know why he did it? Why he said it? But he did.

"Do you want to stay?"

The girl raised her fine eyebrow at him.

"I mean for a drink, a drink! Do you want to stay for a drink?" John asked quickly seemingly embarrassing himself.

John felt flustered and the biggest idiot on the planet and the only cause he could put it down to was lack of sleep. Before he could let her answer, he felt he had to justify himself.

"Listen I, er, I want some company, err not like that you understand-"

The girl had given him a strange smile and raised her fine dark eyebrow again.

"- It's just, I don't know anyone here, I want to talk with someone. If I don't then I think I'm going to go crazy, I mean not that I am you see, ha, but I'll have my subconscious talking to me telling me how stupid I've been tonight." John spoke rubbing the back of his neck and giving her a helpless smile.

The girl smirked at the lack of breath John had taken.

"As much as I'd like to and don't worry there are crazier people in this hotel than you, I have a job to do on reception." She smiled sweetly at him.

"If you need someone to talk to, I suggest that there is a porter about, but he really isn't interesting. Security is about, but they don't like to be bothered unless it's something important. Other than that, there is an all night café a few streets behind this hotel; they have good coffee and tea, whatever your preference is. The scotch is okay there too and between the two of us, it's probably better than paying triple of what we serve even though this is good shit." She finished indicating to the glass in his hand.

John was mesmerised by her speech and took another sip of his drink.

"Erm, thanks for the information."

"I hope I have been of service tonight. If you need anything else we can try and help. Just call. Goodnight John."

John nodded curtly in his trance still before blinking and rushing to the door, hand in pocket, reaching for a tip for the lady.

"Wait!" He said a little loudly but remembered that half the floor belonged to his suite.

The girl turned around. "Yes?" she asked a small smile on her lips at the actions of this crazy man before her.

"What's your name?"

"Call me Penny."

"Penny!? Penny?"

Penny laughed. "Yes, Penny."

"As in Penelope?" John asked, different emotions stirring at the sound of 'that' name.

"No, as in Penny, P-E-N-N-Y, just Penny."

John smiled sheepishly and repeated her name softly.

"Don't wear it out." Penny spoke softly as she turned and walked to the elevator and was out of sight.

John sighed. He pulled out his hand that gripped some money but shoved his hand into his pocket releasing the money from his finger tips.

Josie sat in the kitchen. Even though the sun had risen around Tracy Island, the kitchen held a coolness that didn't elevate any happiness to the house hold situation. The cup of tea she'd been holding in her old hands had since cooled. Blinking in a trance like state, she lifted the liquid and china to her thin lips and pulled back her face in disgust at the temperature of the tea. In machine-like fashion, she stood up and flicked the kettle switch on. Taking a brief glance through the long windows lining the kitchen wall, she sighed looking out to the ocean before turning to stare at the steam from the kettle.

"Grandma?" A soft but melodic voice called from the doorway.

Josie looked around at her artistic grandson and smiled lightly, her lips hard as they fought a tremble.

Virgil walked softly into the tiled kitchen and took Josie's soft, fragile hand from the counter. He then enveloped her into his arms, this time knowing that he stood before her, not a child anymore but a man, a tower of strength for her if she desired, a rock if she needed it. He owed her, they all did.

Josie sighed and tears slipped from her almond eyes into the chest of the young man before her.

Virgil sighed as her sobs cracked from her throat and she let herself go in a respectable manner, the odd choke merging with a few cries and sniffs.

What Virgil didn't know was the fact the tears she cried were for two reasons. The first and most important was the fact that one of her precious grandsons had gone. The second was the fact it was Virgil holding her and comforting her, not her own immediate flesh and blood, Jeff.

A small knock came from a second doorway on the other side of the kitchen.

Both Josie and Virgil looked up and saw the petite figure of Penelope. Vigil looked over her once and decided there and then he'd never seen Penelope look so rough.

"Err, you okay Penelope?" He asked, releasing his grandma after she patted him on the upper arm, proceeding to make a new cup of tea.

"Yeah." She replied timidly before taking a deep breath and putting on a smile and a front. "Virgil, erm, I'd like to go home for a bit, I was wondering whether I could get you to take me over by boat? I'll have Parker pick me up after that. He left last night you see." There was an awkward smile as she finished and her eyes darted back and forth into his.

"Err, sure, but? Erm I mean Scott, does he not…?"

Penelope snorted her breath through her nose and placed a lock of hair behind a ear.

"I don't want to bother him at the moment, he's with your father, and they're talking to Alan. I feel my place isn't on the island at the moment; I don't want to be in the way. I don't want to be a nuisance to your brother and father. I think it would be easier to leave…for a bit."

Virgil shared a quick look with his grandma, who proceeded to look into her tea as she stirred it when Penelope turned to glance at her.

"Do you want to go now?" Virgil asked adjusting his t-shirt and cords that drooped from his waist.

"If it's not a problem, then yes. I have my stuff outside your brother's room." Penelope replied wringing her hands together.

"I'll go and get it." Virgil piped in when he noticed his grandma look toward Penelope carefully.

"A brief notice of leave my dear…" Josie spoke, looking at her tea as she pulled out a chair to sit on by the table. She mentioned with a hand gesture for Penelope to sit down as well.

"…And Scott knows you're off so suddenly?"

Penelope swallowed nervously at the old woman. If there was one person who intimidated her, it was Josie. It wasn't Jeff, angry at her with the odd fault to her mission and her time keeping skills and it wasn't Scott having a go at her for the silliest reasons. No, it was Josie, the real head of the Tracy family. The woman with the hawk eyes.

"Err, yes."

Josie sipped her hot drink and slowly looked up to the young woman who had looked her worst for a long time.

"Listen Penelope…" Josie's voice was calm and soothing. "I want to say a lot of things to you, but now is not the place. I've watched you around here and? Well, I want you to confide in me, that's all, you don't have to go through anything alone, you hear me. I know you like to think you can over come anything on your own two feet…"

Penelope was about to protest to Josie's words but closed her lips in submission as the words Josie spoke were worth listening to and were truthful.

"But sometimes you can't, none of us can in times. That's when we need love around us, you understand what I'm saying?"

Penelope sniffed and looked down to the kitchen table.

Josie's face softened as the start of tears were on the way. She put her hand out on top of hers and Penelope looked up and briefly smiled.

"Oh Josie…." Penelope spoke her tears choking her voice.

"There, there, it's okay." Josie paused and leant in closer to her. "I don't know if you know, but he's in London, Jeff found out just before."

Penelope looked up with a mixture of emotion, which took Josie back. First there was the surprise in her eyes which was followed by happiness, which quickly took the form of shook when she realised what the old lady was stating.

Josie knew, she'd always known and right now she was reading her mind.

Penelope's face then took on the form of sadness, which mingled into fear.

Josie watched carefully unable to put her finger of the fear that lay in Penelope's eyes.

_Why should she fear anything to do with the whole situation?_ Josie blinked and knew before she thought it. _Jeff._

The fact that this pretty, crumpled thing in front of her eyes was not frightened at what her 'lover' was to say about leaving, it was the father of her lover. It all seemed very sad.

"Jeff?" Josie asked.

Penelope nodded, but started crying again.

Josie stood up and walked around to beautiful blond woman, a treasure to all the Tracy men.

Josie frowned when Penelope looked up to her still with a fear and sadness in her blue eyes.

"What's wrong? If it's Jeff, or Scott sweetie, don't worry, they're only men after all." Josie finished with a slight chuckle, trying to lighten the mood.

Penny sniffed and looked at Josie with wide deer like eyes. "I'm pregnant…"


	6. London

**Chapter six - London**

John had since slept for sometime. Simmering down his boiling anger, thinking not so John-like thoughts about Penny from the hotel and thinking about what he was to do tonight. The afternoon stroll in Hyde Park had been pleasant and refreshing, though the squirrels had been a little annoy, "_brave little buggers" _and the weather had kept relatively nice, a bit of cloud here and there but no rain. The London Bus Top Tour had been worth every penny in John's eyes, as he became accustomed with the large busy city that he was starting to feel fond of._ "No brothers, no dad and no Penny"._

A quiet little café for a sandwich, relaxed in his trusted faded Levi's; still a little lose around the waist line for his liking and a smart tailored jacket and Shirt, courteous of his little black card. A sigh and smile escaped John's lips at the sight of the greasiest food the menu could conjure up.

A bit more shopping and site seeing later John found himself back at the hotel ready for a shower and drink.

Walking into the one of the finest suites he'd laid eyes on in the past years, His brothers had seen more due to there not so far away jobs and extended shore time they often smuggled, John reached for mini fridge and pulled out a little plastic bottle of Whiskey, smiling at the fact it was a complete rip off for the miniscule thing and thinking how much Scott would have fainted and Alan would have actually spurred John on to break the seal. John laughed out loud at the scenario but stopped suddenly trying to shake the images of his brothers out of head. This was not their time, it was John's and John was gonna Damn well gonna enjoy every second of making himself time without worry about anything that also concerned his brothers.

The phone suddenly rang and John looked over to the noise. He was about to brace himself, his plan of action; to gulp down his mini whiskey from the plastic to take the call but instead opting to walk into another part of the suite. Looking out of the window, John rested his weight on his side as he lent against the wall and rubbed his chin. A quick glance to the phone still ringing and the cold whiskey in his hand had

felt needed and was drank.

* * *

"Any word ma'am?"

"No Parker." Penelope shook her head. "He won't answer his com or pick up the phone. By the way? How did you know he was there?"

"That hotel ma'am? Who wouldn't want to stay there? Besides I didn't look into master Tracy's computer if that's what your thinking. No I over heard your, err fiancée talking…"

"Parker!"

"Well just the fact John was in London."

"And?"

"Well I got double conformation."

"How?"

"My niece works at the hotel."

The phone stopped and John looked again over to the receiver.

The urge to contact the reception to trace the call was in mind but when he dialled, he'd changed his mind.

"Good evening Mister Tracy, what can we do for you? Is everything good?" A polite, male and ever so English voice spoke.

"Err, hi there, it's yeah its ok. Mmm, I was just wondering, If any other calls come through to me in the next couple of days, I really don't want to answer them, could you take a message if need be?"

"That's fine mister Tracy, is there anything else?"

John blinked and pursed his lips. "I need you to find me a table at one of the finest restaurants. No need to be trendy, less trendy the better, just somewhere classic and nice, ok?"

"Done as we speak, we'll call you in two minutes."

"Thanks."

John shrugged off the black tailored jacket and stretched. Opting for a longer drink, he opened the fridge trying to make a decision but stopping as the phone rang.

"John?"

"Err, yeah?"

"Hi, it's Penny from downstairs."

"Oh! Hiya Penny you okay?"

"Well I will be in the next twelve minutes…" She laughed. "I clocking off and my feet are screaming to relax."

John laughed pleased to hear her friendly voice.

"Bob who took your call has booked you up at a really nice place, never been before myself but I bet it's wonderful. He's just gone to the loo, possibly and emergency but don't really wanna think about that…" She laughed.

Again John laughed.

"But he told me to pass the message on; he'll give you more info when you come downstairs."

"Thank you very much Penny, it's nice to here a friendly voice."

Although John couldn't see, Penny on the other receiver blushed.

"And you know what, I can help you waste you're…" John looked over at the time. "…ten minutes."

"Really?" Penny smirked about to laugh.

John smiled. "Of course I can, its what any gentleman would do… So I'll keep you talking on the phone.

Penny laughed and John smiled.

"Or…"

Penny raised an eyebrow and smirked.

"I could let you get on with your nine minutes, I'll grab a quick shower and you can join me for dinner if you'd like?"

Penny physically opened her mouth in shock.

Where the confidence had come from John didn't know, but he was beginning to like it. _"I love London!"_

"You're a very lucky man John Tracy. Not only am I free tonight but you'll have good company, I've been reading a mini joke book that was found by one of the maids, not for the kids you'll realise."

"Oh, well I look forward to a joke and your company. Will I just see you in the bar?"

"Err, Is it okay if I see you at the restaurant? Only I would like to change and it's kinda frowned upon if…ooh Bob's coming back, gotta go, Bye!"

John heard the line go dead and frowned a little before shrugging and walking to the bathroom. Quick stop at the telly to flick through the channels before deciding to run a bath for himself. Undoing the top button of his Levi's and undoing the fly before the phone quickly rang again.

"Hi."

"Err Hi Dave so were all set for tonight, erm I'll see you there for nine instead of eight, ok?"

"Err Penny Is that you? Err that's okay erm?"

"So have you got that Dave? Nine instead of eight, everything has been arranged. Can't talk for too long 'cus unluckily Bob is here and ear wigging as usual. So I'll see you there Darling. Love you loads."

John heard the line go dead and held the receiver from him. Dave? Who the hell was Dave and why did John think this meal was A) suspicious? and B) dangerous?

It was times like this that John wondered if the 'Tracy' name had anything to do with his kind of behaviour. It was to be expected but John had really hoped that Penny didn't have a boyfriend, but then who cared if she did? London wasn't his home, he didn't know Penny and it wasn't bad to have meal with a civilised adult was it?

* * *

"A drink milady? Coffee Tea, something of a stronger nature?"

"Well, erm no better not Parker, just run my bath, I'm expecting a call from Scott any minute."

"Yes milady." Parker walked to the door, his gloved hand touching the handle before he turned around, seeking conformation to speak again. The look on Penelope's face of that of a sad nature was all he needed.

"It's none of my business 'Ma'am, but would you like me to, err see my niece? Check she's okay, if you know what I mean."

Penny looked immensely happy and only her eyes showed it, her smile stayed put as her own telephone rang.

Fifty seven minutes and a good soak and scrub up later, John emerged from the his suite, nodding to a Japanese couple who possibly recognised him or just wanted to make friendly to someone who they assumed would have money if they were staying in the suite next door.

The lift down stairs seemed quicker than normal and John received more nods when he reached the reception. A few patrons at the bar looked his way trying to figure out if he was a big shot or not.

"Ahh Mr Tracy good evening again."

"Bob I presume?"

"That's right Sir, taxi won't be a moment."

"Thank you Bob."

John lent on the reception desk and folded his arms.

"So Bob, where can I go for a good night then?"

Bob looked up slowly his eye brows high before he frowned miserably. "Well Sir that depends on where you want to go…errm, there's a lot of clubs, but I don't really, err."

"Listen, its okay" John quickly interrupted seeming to have caused more confusion with the man.

A doorman came in through the gold rimmed glass doors, his top hat and tails, immaculate.

"Taxi Sir?"

* * *

Entering the marble reception area John marvelled at all the pictures of the famous, hung on uber modern walls, the lighting dim and classy. A jazz band could be heard downstairs in the open plan restaurant. John let himself smile at the choice of restaurant.

Before the lady on the reception could ask John about reservations, John noticed the flash of dark hair from within the black cab outside. He quickly rushed to the door, even though a man was trying to get there first.

"No please allow me." John's polite up bringing was taking full form.

The man simply smiled in confusion at the American man, not having time to notice the blush that crept on the lady's cheeks.

John went to the cab's window and handed him a nice crisp note and winked at the driver leaving to open the door for his company.

John smiled when Penny stepped out, her height making them equal in her sapphire coloured stilettos.

"You look, wonderful…." John mentioned, taking her hand and kissing the back of it.

"Thanks, you scrub up well too." She laughed.

Penny wiped her palm I her nervous state down the satin blue dress, nothing too, fancy or shabby, worrying of the creases of look-a-like fashionable dress.

The couple walked in and John nodded. "Mr Tracy."

"Mr John Tracy." The woman on reception nodded at another woman as she took Penny's black coat. Both women looked at each other when they realised that this was one of the sons of the Jeff Tracy; multi billionaire.

"Anything you want please don't hesitate to ask, Mr Tracy. Would you like a drink in the bar or would you like to go straight to the table?"

"Penny?"

Penny looked in shock to John as he had included her. _Well he certainly had a lot of manners and charm knocked into him at a young age!_

"Shall we just go to the table?"

John smiled and nodded.

The coat woman smiled and led them downstairs to a grand area, at least a hundred tables a couple with magnificent food displays, mainly of fruit, ice and fish.

"Wow." Penny muttered under her breath as she looked around.

John pulled out a chair and guided Penny to sit. This caused another blush.

"Thank you John." She smiled weakly.

"Can I get you some drinks Mr Tracy?" A waitress asked seemingly to have appeared from nowhere.

John looked at Penny.

"Anything you fancy?"

Penny looked at the elaborate drink list, cocktails and wines galore, blinking twice when she saw the price.

"A coke will, err actually maybe just water?"

John frowned lightly. "Are you sure?" He looked at Penny and noticed her eyes creeping across the drink prices. "Listen penny, my treat honestly, have what you want."

"Erm?"

"How about I chose for us both? Ma'am could we please have two kir royales, and then just bring the bottle of champagne to the table, something special yeah?"

The waitress simply smiled and walked away, a few of the bar tenders looking in her direction.

"John, err thank you, thank you very much."

"No problem."

There was a brief silence between them and John frowned slightly.

"Is everything okay?"

"Well? I'm just a little overwhelmed that's all."

"It's pretty nice huh, fantastic choice."

"I'm not talking about the restaurant John."

John looked at her, his frown gone.

"I never in my wildest dreams thought I'd be having dinner or a kir r- what ever you call that thing with you. With John Tracy…Jeff Tracy's son!"

John didn't know who to take the comment. One way seemingly would put a damper on the evening; the fact that Penny maybe using him for a free night out, curiosity of Jeff Tracy. On the other hand...?

"And to put it bluntly John, I can't afford to go halfers on a meal that costs this much… and I feel obliged to pay something…I suppose you get a lot of people taking you for granted with money and stuff…"

_No not really, not when you're stuck in space, you don't get pushed over…_

"… And I don't want to seem like one of those, honest. So, well, I'd much prefer it if we go grab a burger or kebab, then I don't even mind paying the whole thing. The hotel maybe lush but the wage isn't…I'm really sorry, but I feel I have to justify myself in front of you."

John frowned saddened slightly.

Penny sighed/ "Bet it's a real damper to find out your company doesn't have any class, well not when she ain't got no dosh and lives in a shit hole." Penny quickly put a hand to her mouth at the realisation of her language.

John couldn't help but smirk, he was really starting to like this girl. Yes she wasn't in Scott or Alan's league but he wasn't thinking abut them. She felt it right to justify herself about her money situation – that was polite, at least he knew she wasn't taking him for a ride. What did Josie always say to all the Tracy siblings "Honesty is the best policy."

"You know, that actually sounds interesting about what you said before, about the food." John smirked.

Penny didn't know whether he was being sarcastic or not until, John got the attention of someone.

Before she knew it, they'd left the restaurant to a crowd of puzzled and angry staff to the chill of the London air.

Walking along a busy main road, Penny walked up to a bus shelter and looked for her bus. John starred, hands in pockets, wishing the temperature was a little warmer or that he had a coat.

"Should be one soon, hopefully." Penny muttered.

"How far are we going?"

"Far, would cost a bloody fortune in a cab." Penny mumbled.

John frowned and Penny sheepishly smiled. "Got the cab from just round the corner, he he."

"Thought it was cheap…and I gave him ten pounds and told him to keep the change."

Both laughed at John's attempt in joking.

Penny shivered and John noticed.

"Penny? How about we go back to the hotel?"

She was about to open her mouth, but John was too quick.

"Listen, I know it seems sudden and I know the hotel frown upon staff with clients but it's quicker than waiting around here."

In John's eyes she looked stubborn to answer but she gave in. "I'll have to buy you our over changed hot peanuts."

John smirked and rolled his eyes, really starting to like this woman.

* * *

Warm lighting was bathing the area of the lobby and in high spirits, John and Penny entered the golden rimmed glass doors, still laughing from one joke or story after another.

They stopped in their tracks simultaneously as they saw the figure standing before them.

"Parker?"

"Uncle Al?"


	7. Memories

**Chapter 7- Memories**

"Well, if it makes any difference, I'll go."

Scott Tracy looked over at his father waiting for an answer.

His arms were folded and he radiated a fake coolness with his persona on behalf of his father.

Virgil Tracy saw the cogs in his fathers mind turning and before he could speak another noise which should have been his voice, interrupted Jeff's train of thought.

Jeff, Scott and Virgil looked to the bleeping eyes of the youngest Tracy on the wall.

"Go ahead Alan." Jeff spoke, waiting for the emergency.

"Why the hell is John is London?"

"Alan," Scott stated. "This is the second time today you've commed and for no reason, you're completely abusing the Thunderbird communications."

Alan laughed. "Sorry Dad."

Scott's lips thinned but before he could give his father a look, Jeff spoke.

"Listen son, this doesn't concern you at the moment, you have to have your mind set on Thunderbird Five -"

"Dad you know it concerns me, I , I care for John now. I now you all don't think I do, but I do."

All three Tracy men frowned or raised their eyebrows.

"That's why, that's why I think you should let me come back and try to talk to him, err you know he could let his anger out me, instead of you."

"Alan I believe you'd come back with broken bones and black eyes if you went to John." Virgil spoke, a slight snigger on his handsome face.

"No, no I think Alan's onto something here." Jeff spoke.

Both Virgil and Scott turned to their father shocked.

"Father? Sending Alan would be…" Virgil tried to interrupt.

"Not now Virgil. Alan, if I send you to London, you will make amends with your brother. You'll take his mind off what is going on and try to smooth things over with the part that involves you. Maybe once that is set, he'll talk. I'm not expecting miracles and don't think I'm letting you off your duties because of it. This is more than a favour to me it's a job Alan, do you hear?"

"Yes Sir." Alan said in the most neutral and respecting voice he could muster.

"Why don't I go over to London Father, then I can over see the London company too. John's going to want to talk to someone with a little more maturity than Alan."

"No Scott. I truly believe Alan should talk to John. This feud of theirs has gone on long enough. This will be one problem less if it's sorted out. Beside, I want you to stay here and man Tracy Island."

Scott frowned at what his father was saying.

"It's time to see how things are in Thunderbird five. Let Alan know I'll be changing duties with him tomorrow." With that Jeff Tracy stood up and walked out his office, a mixture of looks emerging on his matured face. He stroked the greying stubble over his chin. He was slightly worried about sending Alan to see John but he had faith in his youngest. He recently noticed the lad was maturing considerably. His mouth was politer, less swearing to others and the boyish blue in his eyes had darkened to a sensible young man. Of course he was still the wild one, but Jeff was feeling proud of the youngest. At first he didn't want to let Alan grow up. He still wanted to keep the teenager who lived life on a thin wire. If he let his baby boy grow up that would mean he no longer had his babies and no longer could relate to his beloved Lucille as they were as young parents.

_"Oh Lucy, we've still problems…you should still be here, everything would be settled."_

…………………………………………………………..

"Allo' Master Tracy, Penny." Parker nodded.

He wasn't wearing his usual uniform instead opting for casuals.

"Been out any where nice?"

The comment wasn't harsh in anyway, but John was sure Parker always knew more than anyone else and there was more than just a reason for him to see his niece.

"Uncle Al, I haven't seen you ages!" Penny squealed attracting a few glances over to the trio.

Parker enveloped her in a tight squeeze. "Months isn't it? But we have talked, at least!"

"Knew I was here Parker?" John mentioned as he went to sit on one of the lounge chairs, the brown leather feeling cold.

Parker gave him a look and John knew instantly that Penelope had ordered him on the case.

"It came as a great surprise that you were in this hotel."

Penny sat next to John, how uncomfortably made a little more distance between them. Penny briefly looked at John as he did this before mustering up a smile.

"So how do you know each other?" she mused.

"I work in association with the Tracy family."

"What, you never said that you knew Jeff Tracy? And you never said you knew my Uncle!" Penny finished turning to John with mock anger.

John half smiled. "Didn't know he was yours." John then turned to Parker and some sub conscious thought came to mind. _Why did I come to this hotel? It's one of the finest but there are plenty of others? _Then John recalled business meetings that his father and Scott had in London, opting to stay at this hotel, bills and emails with the hotel's logo.

"I work for a close family relative – friend of the family."

John caught the end of Parker's sentence.

John had looked up then looked away catching the sight of a waiter. "Coffee please." He called out.

"I can't believe I've come across you tonight master Tracy –."

"Please, it's John."

"Ah yes, John."

"So are you here for a reason?" Penny asked.

"Just to see my favourite niece."

"Your only niece." Penny smirked.

"Exactly."

A secret smile radiated between them and as John watched he thought. He thought about Penny and how cute she was. Nothing had been committed between them but sparks could be ignited. _Penny_. The name was velvet on his throat. _Oh Penelope. So this is what it is hmm? You thought you'd find her in Penny? Oh very good Johnny boy and then what trouble would you have caused?_

"John?"

John looked up.

"Milk, sugar?"

He registered Penny's voice.

"Err, listen I'm sorry Penny, I'm feeling a little rough, headache and all lack of sleep," _you brought it on yourself_. "I think I'm gonna leave it for tonight, whatever you want to finish the night off with, put it on my tab okay?"

Penny looked at the blond young man and frowned. "Is it something I said?"

Parker looked between the two and couldn't believe his eyes as he saw the humble saddened look appear on his niece's face. _She likes him…a lot_. John's face was now battling to apologise once more and he gave her a pitiful smile and shook his head. Parker could have sworn he heard the breath escape from Penny's lips in relief.

"Listen Penny luv, I'll be down at the fat Ox, if you want to have a catch up later."

Penny nodded silently as Parker rose and gave John a meaningful look.

Penny noticed it but said nothing.

The pair were silent as the coffee cooled.

"I'll see you…..maybe?" Penny asked as she stood.

"Listen, Penny, you're a lovely girl- woman…"

"Save it John, please. You've obviously got something on your mind and I'm not going to ask. But if you want a pair of ears to listen I'm about if you want to talk."

John didn't know what to say. He wanted to scream to the whole world where he lived. He wanted to divulge every secret thing he'd been sworn not to say, but most of all he wanted to apologise to Penny about his behaviour with her. It wasn't fair.

All night her eyes had been sparkling with excitement, sincerity and lust. It was what his body craved. He wanted her so badly. _Do you even think she'd approve of you as a sexual experience? Your hand doesn't count you idiot, not on earth anyway. When was the last time you bedded a woman John? When was the last time you screamed and moaned and felt in ecstasy without worrying who heard?_

Three nights. Three nights when he had shore leave. Three nights in which he spent one night on the main land. They'd met up, in front of some of his brothers. She needed a chaperone, it was only gentlemanly. Scott needed to drown his sorrows – he'd seen someone who looked like an old flame. New York lights had dimmed letting man and woman roam freely. It's what all the Tracy brothers did on shore leave; they got laid, they needed it. Scott needed it, Virgil needed it and the brothers departed in their separate directions – a chance to be the billionaire' son, not a Thunderbird. Onto more clubs or back to a luxury suite, whatever suited them on this night. Then it had been them. The bar had been comfortable with a smart alcove seating the pair. Dark green had enveloped them creating an atmosphere of refined seclusion. A bottle of fine Chablis was shared and the couple, who only needed to order the one bottle, drank as they talked all night. John had been venting out his childhood mishaps and furies of his life and she had confided in John about money troubles. The darkness seemed to envelop them even more so and as tea lights imbedded in missing bricks of the wall flickered, their knees touched. There was no conversation now. The alcohol had relaxed them but John's heart was thumping at a rate. He looked slowly at what he considered the most beautiful woman in the world. She had a short blond bob. Nothing was out of place and her make up enhanced her features, small chin, high cheek bones, and plump lips with a prominent cupid's bow. Every man had starred at her in the club, every man would go home and fantasize that they were making love with her, with or without a partner tonight.

John was shocked to see that she starred back at him. Starred back at the physically weakest Tracy, starred at the brother with the freaky white blond hair, not the luscious golden like Alan, starred into his grey blue eyes without blinking and smiling a sweet smile that held more.

Her hand had rested on his thigh and he felt a churning inside his stomach. Taking a breath and taking his eyes from his leg, he looked back into the beautiful face of the woman who brought him to a nervous disposition. He placed his hand over hers and for a second Penelope thought he was about to dismiss her gesture and move her hand away. Maybe she thought that John thought she'd had too much to drink but her smiled intensified and her heart skipped a beat as he caressed his thumb over her hand. A couple of strokes and without a thought, John reached to her cheek and cupped it softly. It was a bold move but it paid off as Penelope laid into his hand almost nuzzling it. It drew him to her, her hand still on his leg; her fingers had started to move and stroke. No one seemed to notice the pair in the dark. It happened so fast. The kiss made him melt and the strange thing was she was submissive. His tongue took control of her mouth; a hypnotic battle between them occurred and melted into soft caresses. He hadn't kissed anyone like this before. A heat took over his body and his hands enclosed her to him. He felt powerful and confident and without a care. It was his chance to stroke her thighs making use of the short hemmed black number. Her soft skin was like a drug and he wanted to stroke it more and cover more with his finger tips. Penelope leaned forward and took a deep breath over his neck. She smiled brushing her hand over his crotch and finding a reaction. It completely took him by surprise to find she had no underwear no. It was that point the kiss broke and he looked at Penelope carefully. His eyes darted as they looked into hers, though blue orbs that no more held mystery or super human qualities like he once though she had; they were bare, they were naked and exposed to him, housing all the grief, all the hurt and all the pain that she seemed to be housing. Still no conversation. He was about to retaliate his hand but she held him by his wrist; an urgency. Still no conversation. He brushed his fingers back up the junction between her thighs and kissed her neck which she had tilted and exposed. What had come over him? What if someone saw? This was absurd – this was Alan behaviour! _There you go John always comparing yourself to your brothers_. A slight anger filtered his veins and John had to take a breath to realise what he should be concentrating on. He felt so possessive of this woman, He wanted to mark her, make her remember him. Biting her neck was his first point of call, not that he wanted to give her a hicky, but his primal urge over came him, he felt like he could devour her. This was a completely new turn for him and he didn't know where it came from. There was a moan that escaped her lips and the pair new it was time to leave the club and the Chablis.

Penelope looked at the women who past her and licked her lips. They noticed her lipstick was smudged slightly and the way she tugged and smoothed her dress. She walked like a queen first before clinging to John, her dominance softening as John revelled in his masculinity, walking away with this angel.

They recognised him, didn't they? Tracy someone wasn't it? Was one of those brothers, not the usual ones? Was it even a Tracy brothers? The rumours had gone around the club when the other ones were there. The tall handsome one and the beautiful charmer, God they were handsome. Wasn't it in a magazine recently? Scott Tracy – top ten eligible bachelors? He doesn't look like Scott? It must be a Tracy brother; he was with the other two. He's rich that's the only reason she's with him, gold digging whore.

They both couldn't care what any one thought of them. Time had stopped. The warm night that was beginning to feel sticky felt just right. Penelope squeezed his hand and John turned. He smiled and kissed the back of her hand still in his as he saw her smile. The littlest thing like holding her hand in his made him feel complete. The dark city was lit with the night life. Bright lights left shadows that the couple stayed out of and the music still boomed sending everyone into some sort of sexual tribal dance. John felt good walking down the street, Penelope on his arm and it felt completely right. He was glad he wasn't a recognisable Tracy brother like Scott or Alan and revelled in the fact that paparazzi couldn't get a story on this brother. How long had a woman been on his arm before? How had he been lucky to have Penelope on his? Why did she want to be with him… did she even want that or was that just a taster of what he couldn't have, a cruel joke she wanted to play? He'd seen the gorgeous smile she had for Scott when he tried to crack a joke earlier that evening and the way he smiled his top ten most eligible bachelor smile back. It wasn't even funny, in fact wasn't Virgil laughing at John for looking so straight faced? Hadn't that made Penny giggle at John? Wasn't that the first time she'd touched him, placing her hand on his arm and giving him a strange smile?

"Penny?"

Penelope had looked up to him, though there wasn't much of a height difference with her expensive stilettos on. She caught the worry in his gaze and stroked his cheek.

"Penny what is it that-" John stopped speaking as she placed two manicured finger tips on his lips.

"Shhh. Go with it John. I've made my mind up, things are going to change. Things we've already spoken about tonight."

There was so many questions that he wanted to say.

He had admired her from day one, every Tracy man had including his father had. There had been a talk from dad to all the brothers about not 'bothering' her. The topic was closed for discussion and Penny had never known why the brothers never flirted with her? Was there something wrong with her? Did they find her hideous and not sexually attractive? Conversation had always been left with no emotion. It saddened her. It also saddened her that these were the only men she ever enjoyed the company of, including the quiet one that spent his time away from the family. The one that was slightly mysterious. The only one that still blushed and tried to hide it when she talked to him until recently._ Well at least it's not that bad when you compare it with Brains._ Poor young man couldn't even stutter let alone speak when she tried to talk to him.

There was one moment that made him doubt her but there was something completely strange and surreal about tonight, but the urgency she seemed to possess toppled any questions he had. He lusted after he, he always had, they all had.

What was a little fun between friends? What harm could it cause?

The light had been on! That beautiful expensive, glittering chandelier had washed the room with warmth and richness and brought truth to the couple. No hiding behind darkness, no lies. John had panicked, he wasn't physically built up like Scott, he wasn't as tanned as the rest of them due to space duties. But then what she thought was womanly imperfection on her buttocks and backs of her thighs, John didn't notice or care less. It made him laugh at the worry she'd bottled up about it. And they shared smiles and laughter as things heated up. A mole here a scar there, it was interesting and nerve racking when they had stripped. What was happening to them both was to be remembered, it was the first of few.

The small mole on her abdomen a few centre metres from that thatch of hair that hid his elixir of life made him smile. She had hated it; he had loved it, giving it kisses until she laughed. He had learnt her body like a map. Kissed everywhere that made her smile. She had taken him over the edge. It had lasted all night. The heavy petting engulfed them and then it had come to the point of no return. Words were spoken, it could have stopped…just. They had agreed and it happened. Penny started crying afterwards and John worried and hoped she wasn't crying because of what had happened. It had been out of happiness as it goes. The foxy, British aristocrat had had more secrets than John had realised and all for good reasons and she confided in John that she'd never felt so cared or loved. The secret agent job kept her alone in any sexual attachment. There was a lot about Penelope's past that she shared with him over the next three nights. Maybe she was embarrassed but she had no reason to be and that was the moment she realised that this was the Tracy brother that could listen. They talked and talked, sharing more with each other, strengthening the bond that had already grown in such as short time after such a slow length after it had been condemned with Jeff Tracy. Of course he had never known Penelope had been out with his sons, that she had been interested in John Tracy. It had been long thought that Lady Penelope had acquaintances overseas back in the UK, a lord somebody or other?

It took over them both. Skin touched skin, hot and sticky. Sweat lay on his brow and she glowed. They moaned and gasped, the light showing them in their true form. It was delicious and she urged him on with passion. She'd forgotten about anything to do with anything and found her sexual side begging to be released fully. This wasn't about covering up and making things lovey-dovey. This was the real deal. It was messy, it was intense but it had been worth it. Everything was exposed, there were no secrets, they had seen each others core and they had tainted each other. Intimacy had become theirs.

John blinked.

"I'll see you around John, I've got work anyway, I'll be on the desk."

John frowned slightly before working out her words.

"Oh, er yeah."

Still in his dream world he blinked again and felt a hand on his thigh. Penny lent over him in his chair and kissed his cheek.

John's eyes were widening.

"Sorry, I just wanted to do that, I think your very handsome John, but, er, you should find her or something. I don't appreciate thinking that you wanted a substitute or something-"

John quickly tried to speak.

"- But, we're young and I know sometimes we try to find comfort. It must be hard to be a Tracy man, everyone after your money."

"I know you weren't."

"Thanks."

"And that makes it harder I suppose."

Penny looked at him and gave him a saddened smile.

"Things would have gotten a lot complicated, I think." She spoke.

"Yeah." John sighed. He felt disgusted that she knew what he was after, it brought him shame to the Tracy name.

"Good night John."

John took a deep breath and sighed rubbing his face in the palms of his hands. He felt slightly humiliated. It topped it off when he saw Parker walk back into the lobby.

"I'm sorry Parker, I didn't realise that was your niece?"

"Not technically but I was a good friend of her fathers – like an uncle to her. When we were both in the clink and I got out, I said I'd keep an eye on her. Found out she worked 'ere and knew she was in a good job, could support herself you know. Knew her mother quite well too, she was a lovely lady."

John looked at Parker carefully and caught the sadness in his smile; some story was playing through Parkers eyes.

"Awh well, can't dwell on the past now can we master Tracy."

"I don't now." John shrugged standing up.

"Honestly John, what are you doing here, really?"

Parker's words were spoken with comfort.

"I dunno? I guess I should be home. I've got a lot of thinking and explaining to do."

"I know someone who wants to see you, she's upset."

John turned to Parker's words and couldn't believe it.

"The cars outside, I'll be waiting."

"Thanks Parker."


End file.
